Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Graduation Jitters

This Friday is my 8 week ultrasound at the clinic. It is also my last appointment there. Ever. As in, I will graduate to the OB after this appointment. The OB where real pregnant women go. The only problem is, I still feel like an impostor. It hasn't quite sunk into my thick skull yet that I might actually know...that p word. I had heard from others who had long TTC journeys that it might take a while to sink in, but I wasn't expecting it to take this long. I mean, I've seen heartbeats for crying out loud, but I still don't quite believe it.

I don't feel ready for my final exam. I've gotten used to lots of appointments, and constant attention. Although it's not a label I enjoy, I've even gotten used to being a bitter infertile. I've spent the last year and a half of my life with these people. I have to admit, I'm going to miss them just a bit. Some of them. Did anyone out there do anything for their doctors / nurses upon graduating to the OB? I was thinking of getting something small for our nurse at the very least. She has been our primary contact person from day one, and has been so patient with all of our fretful phone calls and silly questions. If any of you bought gifts, what did you buy? I have no idea what is appropriate, or how much to spend. Maybe I'll bring some treats to be placed in the coffee area too. My only concern -and I know this might be a bit paranoid- is that the doctor won't see anything at my next appointment. I'd hate to show up to the clinic grinning and carrying a load of donuts only to leave sobbing. Maybe I'm being crazy. The past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. I start with the initial high of a good appointment. As the days drag by until my next appointment, I become more and more anxious, worried that my next ultrasound will reveal bad news. This is far more difficult than any TWW.

So now I begin the task of trying to find an OB. I think I know which practice I'm going to chose, because their doctors have delivery privileges at the 3 hospitals closest to me. Hopefully I'll find someone I like there. It's as good a starting point as any, I suppose. I feel so unprepared to graduate into this big world!


Strawberry said...

Good luck with the graduation- you're gonna be fine! We didn't buy our RE gifts, but we made sure to send them a birth announcement.

GIsen said...

You paid your bill right? imo that's all the thank you they need. They have us over a barrel from start to finish and we get no breaks are discounts because we need them to bring together the sperm/egg.

A simple thank you will suffice.

Unknown said...

Good luck on your appt. We didnt send anything yet. Plan to after Liz has the baby. (a thank you note, picture and some home made goodies maybe)

Schroedinger said...

This is so exciting. I can understand your trepidation, but you earned this! I can't wait to hear about your final exam, and hope everything goes well for you.

I agree that this is a business, and while it is overwhelmingly emotional on ouor end of it, on their end it is just a job. BUT I always get little gifts (wine, fancy tea, chocolates) if some professional (doctor, vet) has gone out of their way to help me in some way-- But, just for doing their job, not so much.

Speedy CLEANS up with the chocolates and wine at Christmas time, and I can personally attest that it IS appreciated, and makes her feel appreciated, too.

Good luck!!

Sarah said...

I'm 19 weeks love and it doesn't feel real still. I get nervous before every appointment, expecting rejection. We worry. It's an infertile thing and it's a mom thing. And now we're moms. Pregnant with real babies - our babies - moms.

I think treats for the break room is very thoughtful and not over the top.


Melissa said...

We didn't buy gifts for our RE. I'm almost 35 weeks along and at times it still seems a bit surreal. Lots of luck with Friday's appointment.

Pufferfish said...

We just had a tiny freak out over here at Chez Puffer that in less than a month little human beings are going to come out of me and we have to raise them. It still seems crazy and unreal.
Some days more than others.

Good luck with finding an OB and be sure to ask about a perinatologist as well. You will be very glad to have that research done if you should need one.

As for the gifts? I said thanks for knocking me up Doc! Really, it is their job and I paid them thousands and thousands of dollars to do it well.
I'll send them a birth announcement, but that's it.
But that's just me!

Anonymous said...

I guess I was really lucky, my OB was also my fertility doc. He and his infertility nurse coordinator were so great to me through all my ttc ups and downs. They even called down to the children's hospital a few times to check on us when Farty had to be transported there for surgery.
I didn't really think of sending gifts, but I made sure to send pictures and a thank-you note, and I also made sure I brought Farty along with me to my post partum checkup to meet all the people who helped bring him into existance.
I confess, it didn't really hit me that I was having my son until I was actually holding him. I think that's what so many BFN's and other roadblocks do to you.
I am so hoping for good news from you after your appointment. (maybe even some u/s pics!?!)
Best of luck!

Libberal said...

Congrats on your graduation! I can't wait to hear how your last appointment goes.
I say if you feel like being generous and want these people to know you appreciate them, give them FOOD. Something gourmet, or sweet, or just plain yummy. At my next appointment I'm already planning on bringing some food from the restaurant, just to start our relationship right, ya know?

Anonymous said...

Me too on everything in this post. I was thinking about baking cookies or something and then telling them not to take it personally but that I hope I don't see any of them again in the near future. LOL. You know what I think would be a nice thing to do? Bring the babies in when they are born so they can see what they helped you with. One of the techs once told me, and she sounded sad about it, that they never get so see the fruits of their labor. They never get to see the babies.

Anyway, I think your next scan is going to be fantastic! I just feel it!

Anonymous said...

My mom is a (really great) nurse, and she often gets little gifties from people who were especially touched by her help. BUT, the things she most appreciates are handwritten cards and thank you notes. I think she has a box of them, actually. And I second the idea to bring in the babies after they are born. :)

Anonymous said...

Hooray! And happy graduation! I sent a fruit basket my first ttc journey (one of those fruit kabob designs) after my last appt. Maybe you should have flower, or cookies, or chocolate delivered. That way you won't have to worry about the leaving-sobbing scenario. Not that you have to worry about that anyway, my friend, because YOU ARE SO VERY PREGNANT!!!! I am sure that the appt will go great. I can't wait to hear all about it!

Anonymous said...

I would probably buy the nurse that you mentioned a little somehting like nice coffee or tea, or chocolates, just to let her kinow that she was appreciated and very helpful during the past year and a half. If someone goes beyond the call of duty, I always think they should be rewarded.
I hope all goes just as you want it to tomkorrow at your 8 week scan. You all wil be in my thoughts tomorrow...and I am sure that I will be checking your blog all day Friday to hear any good news you.

Jersey said...

ok... obviously i got some congratulatin' to do!!

*putting on my cheerleading uniform* we-are-proud-of-you, i-say-we-are-proud-of-you. *clap, clap clap*

im so sorry for my delay. i have been away without internet connection and returned to 2.34 million stupid work emails.

anywhoo... *slap on the back*... way to go!

mama bea, bao in the oven said...

Hope your graduation appointment went well! Congratulations on moving on. What a wonderful milestone!
As you know, I did NOT try for very long, and I am into my 2nd semester and telling people, and it's still not really sinking in. I think it must just take awhile.
Also, I'm guessing that emotional roller-coaster you've been on is...your first pregnancy symptom! Mazel tov! (tee hee)