Day 24, our favorite thing to do without our kids....
Lunch dates! Sometimes we'll meet for a lunch break at work when the kids are at daycare. Yeah, I know I just said that I like eating dinner with my kids. Really, I do. But having twins is all consuming. It's so humanizing to have that hour to relax with each other and have some adult conversation without being interrupted. We used to get theater season tickets before we had kids, and that was always fun. We also used to go kayaking a lot in a nearby canal. It's a super easy place to paddle around, and dip your toes in the water or look for turtles. Hopefully we can bring them when they're a little bigger. (oh, shit, this is supposed to be about my favorite things to do without them, and now I'm bringing them along!) We get next to no time away from the kids since we live in a tiny open arrangement apt. with two big dogs and no yard. We have not been able to find a babysitter willing to deal with that setup, so lunch breaks are our only chance to have time away from the kids. We really need to move!
Day 25 – What did you want to be when you grew up? Why and/or how did that change over time?
The first thing I remember wanting to do is make greeting cards. I was in second grade, and one of my classmates got sick or needed his tonsils out or something. The point it that he was going to be UNABLE TO GO TRICK OR TREATING that year. Our teacher had everyone in the class make get well cards for him. The teacher liked mine, and the kids mother loved it and told me for years afterward how much she loved it anytime she saw me at a school function. Then I wanted to be a marine biologist, because I thought it meant I got to play with seals and dolphins all day. Once I hit high school, I realized that I had no idea what I wanted to do when I grew up. I still don't have a clue.
Day 26 – What is/are the best piece(s) of parenting advice you’ve gotten or can give others?
Best advice I got for the early days, with the onslaught of visitors was from my aunt. She told me that nobody cared what state the house was in, all they cared about was seeing the babies. It's true. I didn't need to make myself crazy with cleaning. I could have met people in a barn and they wouldn't have noticed.
The best advice I can give (at least something I hadn't heard before) ...put dates on your pictures right away. You might think now that you'll remember that a particular photo was taken at 10 weeks and not 7 weeks, but you probably won't.
And for twin parents, "what is a toy for one baby is a weapon for twins."
Day 27 – Which movies or tv shows do you think are the most accurate portrayals of parenthood?
I love Roseanne. I think this is probably one of the most realistic portrayals of an American family ever. I was so grateful for the Roseanne marathons when I was sitting around at home on maternity leave, just waiting to go into labor.
Day 28 – What size family do you come from, what size family do you want, and why?
I grew up with a brother, who is a year younger than I am. We have a half sister, thanks to my cheating father. She's 6 years younger than I am, and moved halfway across the country when she was 3. Due to my parents marriages and divorces, I have 4 ex stepbrothers, one ex stepsister, 1 current stepbrother and 3 current stepsisters.
As far as my household goes, I can see one or 2 more kids. Elizabeth and I always imagined that we would each get a turn being pregnant. I never imagined I'd have twins. I used to think we'd just have 2 kids, but now I am preparing myself for 4 in case she has twins too!
Day 29 – What do you think about giving kids an allowance, and what chores do you or would you expect your child(ren) to help out with?
I really want them to learn to be responsible with money. I don't want to be an ATM. I want them to learn to save for things they want to buy. But I don't want them to learn to associate everyday chores with money either. It drives me nuts that my younger cousins would ask "how much will you pay me?" when asked to do even the most basic chores. I think I'd like them to be responsible for maintaining their own space, but also helping with family things, like preparing dinner, setting the table, feeding dogs, etc.
Day 30 – What is/are the most memorable questions or reactions you’ve gotten in regards to being a two-mom family?
A surprising number of people implied that we probably don't get to know anything about the father. As if we were just given some random sperm. They're totally surprised when we tell them that we know his physical characteristics, as well as some of his likes and dislikes. I guess most people just have no idea how sperm banks work. Usually I tell them that it's kind of like online dating, and they seem to get it.
The first thing I remember wanting to do is make greeting cards. I was in second grade, and one of my classmates got sick or needed his tonsils out or something. The point it that he was going to be UNABLE TO GO TRICK OR TREATING that year. Our teacher had everyone in the class make get well cards for him. The teacher liked mine, and the kids mother loved it and told me for years afterward how much she loved it anytime she saw me at a school function. Then I wanted to be a marine biologist, because I thought it meant I got to play with seals and dolphins all day. Once I hit high school, I realized that I had no idea what I wanted to do when I grew up. I still don't have a clue.
Day 26 – What is/are the best piece(s) of parenting advice you’ve gotten or can give others?
Best advice I got for the early days, with the onslaught of visitors was from my aunt. She told me that nobody cared what state the house was in, all they cared about was seeing the babies. It's true. I didn't need to make myself crazy with cleaning. I could have met people in a barn and they wouldn't have noticed.
The best advice I can give (at least something I hadn't heard before) ...put dates on your pictures right away. You might think now that you'll remember that a particular photo was taken at 10 weeks and not 7 weeks, but you probably won't.
And for twin parents, "what is a toy for one baby is a weapon for twins."
Day 27 – Which movies or tv shows do you think are the most accurate portrayals of parenthood?
I love Roseanne. I think this is probably one of the most realistic portrayals of an American family ever. I was so grateful for the Roseanne marathons when I was sitting around at home on maternity leave, just waiting to go into labor.
Day 28 – What size family do you come from, what size family do you want, and why?
I grew up with a brother, who is a year younger than I am. We have a half sister, thanks to my cheating father. She's 6 years younger than I am, and moved halfway across the country when she was 3. Due to my parents marriages and divorces, I have 4 ex stepbrothers, one ex stepsister, 1 current stepbrother and 3 current stepsisters.
As far as my household goes, I can see one or 2 more kids. Elizabeth and I always imagined that we would each get a turn being pregnant. I never imagined I'd have twins. I used to think we'd just have 2 kids, but now I am preparing myself for 4 in case she has twins too!
Day 29 – What do you think about giving kids an allowance, and what chores do you or would you expect your child(ren) to help out with?
I really want them to learn to be responsible with money. I don't want to be an ATM. I want them to learn to save for things they want to buy. But I don't want them to learn to associate everyday chores with money either. It drives me nuts that my younger cousins would ask "how much will you pay me?" when asked to do even the most basic chores. I think I'd like them to be responsible for maintaining their own space, but also helping with family things, like preparing dinner, setting the table, feeding dogs, etc.
Day 30 – What is/are the most memorable questions or reactions you’ve gotten in regards to being a two-mom family?
A surprising number of people implied that we probably don't get to know anything about the father. As if we were just given some random sperm. They're totally surprised when we tell them that we know his physical characteristics, as well as some of his likes and dislikes. I guess most people just have no idea how sperm banks work. Usually I tell them that it's kind of like online dating, and they seem to get it.
3 comments:
That last thing is so funny. I think I've run into a couple people that thought that way as well...like we went to a sperm bank and they just gave us whatever vial they had. lol.
love the twin advice! :)
ditto on the sperm comments, people seem shocked you know any details at all - even major ones like the race of the donor or health histories! what kind of sketchy clinics do they think are out there?!
Loveeeeeeee Roseanne!
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