Tuesday, December 8, 2009

One Dozen

I heard she was in town.  I knew she'd stop by sooner or later.  That no-good bitch Aunt Flo.  She'll be here any day now.  Like anyone who has been trying too damn long to have a baby, I have a habit of looking at every piece of toilet paper I use.  Only someone this practiced at BFNs would have noticed the faint pink tinge on the paper.  I wish I could post some good news for once- nobody likes a downer.  It's hard not to be depressed after 2 failed IVF cycles, and 12 total BFNs.  I am crushed.  

18 comments:

justine said...

oh, gayby. i am so very sorry.

this just sucks the most. i can't even believe it. i hope you take as much time as you need to feel all of the awfulness that this fucking ttc shit has brought your way.

we are thinking of you here.

projectkjetil said...

I'm sorry that this has been such a mindf.ck. I'm sorry that it's been this many BFNs. I'm sorry that I still want to throw that "it's not over" shit at you right now. I won't, though. I'll just tell you I'm thinking about you.

tui said...

Fuck it, I'm so so sorry, this really sucks and is so unfair. I know that feeling and the waiting for it to be confirmed so I'm not going to say it's not over yet because I know there's no comfort in that. Fuck I'm gutted for you!

P said...

So sorry to hear that. I am thinking of you. I wish there were words I could say to make you feel better.

Keely said...

SHIT I am so sorry!! You have every right to feel depressed. I wish there were something that we could do or say to make it otherwise.

AdventuresInBabyMaking said...

I can't believe it. I thought for sure this was it. I'm so sorry. I wish that I could change it for you.
xo

Malea said...

Honey I'm so sorry:(

Melissa said...

That stupid bitch should know she's not wanted around these parts and just STAY AWAY!! I'm so sorry.

tbean said...

Oh Gayby. I'm so sorry. Fuck it all to hell. Meet you for that drink tonight?!
hugs

Libberal said...

I'm so sorry, gayby. This totally fucking sucks. Whatever it is that makes you feel better today, do that thing all goddamn day long. And know that we are all thinking about you.

alimis said...

Oh no, gayby. I am so incredibly sorry. There is nothing that I can say that has not been said, or can say to make it even a tiny bit better. I just wnat you to know that I am so very sorry and that I a, thinking about you during this time. xoxo

Lisa said...

Gayby I wish there was something prolific I could say about the whole experience of ttc and bfn's. I'm heartbroken for you. xoxo

J and DZ said...

I am so sorry. TTC is cruel and unfair. Stay strong.

rachelbk said...

I am so sorry.

poppycat.wordpress.com said...

Oh no Gayby. No no no! I can't help but want to hold out hope for you and I wish so much I could change this cruel outcome. How could this happen to you!?!

I am sending so much love and comfort to you and I'll be keeping you in my heart and in my thoughts.

thebao said...

GodDAMMIT. This is just so not fair, and makes no sense, and sucks in every way. Please know I'm thinking about you.

halfadozen said...

I am so so so sorry... My heart is aching for you. I can imagine the pain you are feeling and wish there was something I could do to take it away. Know that I am wrapping my arms around you in a long distance hug...

Trinity said...

I'm so sorry!