Saturday, June 20, 2009

It's not you, it's me

 Since I've decided to switch clinics and sperm banks for my next cycle, I've got some breaking up to do.  This is harder than I thought.  I really loved the little sperm bank we were using.   The director knows us by name, and was always friendly and helpful over the phone.   Everyone at the OBGYN we used for the last two inseminations was wonderful.  The doctor performed the IUIs for less than half the price of the fancy clinic.  The nurse / receptionist bitched out our insurance company for denying us coverage for fertility treatment.  It was the first time anyone has gone to bat for us.
So what do you do when you break up with the nice girl?  You lie through your teeth.  I am a chickenshit coward.  I've told the clinic and the sperm bank that we're going to take a break from trying to get pregnant.  That's the oldest breakup trick in the book.  Tell 'em you need a little break and then slip off to the shiny new lover.  I feel guilty, but I have to do what's practical.  When I started TTC, I felt so strongly about staying away from fertility drugs, using the sperm bank with ID release at 3 months, etc.  But I supposed I'm a fair weather lover, and I've cracked under the pressure of multiple failures.  So... sorry little sperm bank and friendly OBGYN, but I've got to say goodbye.  It's been fun, but dragging this out any longer would only hurt us both.


Melissa said...

Often times it's changes like these that is needed to bring on a BFP! I totally would have lied too.a

Tui said...

That sucks that you had to leave when you're so comfortable with them but I really hope this change is what you need to finally get your bfp!

poppycat said...

Well, I will bet this isn't the first time the girl with the wonderful personality has been dumped for the dangerous shiney fancy new lover. She'll get over it.

I remember when we started this process, I had the sweetest most romantic ideas about how this would work. I imagined us at home with candles and white lines but I have lowered my standards considerably since then. Now I am at the point where I just want to GET IT DONE! I almost don't care how it happensm as long as it does.

Good luck at the fancy schmansy new clinic!

poppycat said...

Ooops. I meant white linens, not white lines! White lines and babies do not mix!!! ;)