I'm feeling like a bit of an impostor in TTC blogland since I'm not actively TTC at the moment. I took August off to wait for a consultation with my RE. Now I have to take September off to prepare for IVF. I really don't know what to do with myself. I won't have anything TTC related to blog about for some time. I fear my readership abandoning me for more exciting blogs with betas and ultrasounds and belly pics. I am feeling restless and unproductive and boring.
When I started out, I thought I would get pregnant easily and have a baby by the time I was 30. But somehow that birthday snuck up on me last week, and I have to come to terms with the fact that I wasn't even able to get pregnant before I turned 30. I know, I know, it's such an arbitrary number. But 30 just feels so...grown up. Like I can no longer use the fact that I'm only in my twenties as an excuse for not having my life exactly where I want it. Ok, enough of that. I feel like I should offer you some cheese with that whine.
I am trying very hard to shake the negativity and restlessness, and come up with some things that are GOOD about waiting until October to try again:
*My poor little credit card will get a much needed break
*I have a better chance of having a summer baby. That would be great for Elizabeth's schedule since she's in the education field. And my summer baby would turn 5 just before the start of the school year, so he / she should be able to start kindergarten right away.
*If my first round of IVF works, I should be able to tell my family about the pregnancy at Christmas.
*I can make another half-assed attempt to lose weight before I get pregnant.
*I can wear loose winter clothing to hide the pregnancy during the early stages, so my co-workers won't get suspicious before I'm ready to tell them.
That's all I've come up with at the moment. If anyone else has taken a slightly longer break and wants to tell me how beneficial it was, I'm all ears!
1 week ago