Thursday, August 13, 2009

Pulling out the big guns

I had a consultation with my doctor yesterday afternoon to talk about why 3 home insems, 4 unmedicated IUIs, and 3 medicated IUIs have failed to get me knocked up.  I was a bit worried that she would say I was a lost cause, but the meeting went well and was actually quite reassuring.  This doctor is a tiny, bubbly-to-the-point-of-hyperactive woman who speaks about a mile a minute without pausing to take a breath.  Fortunately, she had some good things to say.

One of my biggest concerns was that my short cycles on g0nal f were an indicator of a much larger problem.  But the doctor assured me that since the injectables make your follicles grow really fast, they can speed up the rest of the cycle too.  She said that all of the testing and ultrasounds they've done on me so far indicate that I should be able to get pregnant, and that there is nothing major that's "off".   Her explanation for why I haven't gotten pregnant yet is that human reproduction is remarkably inefficient, and that under the best of circumstances, a couple having intercourse at ovulation has about a 20% chance of conception each month.  My chances are reduced quite a bit because I'm using frozen sperm.  As she put it "it's tough to be frozen and thawed".  Poor little spermies.  I know, it's a bit of a lame explanation.  Part of me is happy with the idea that it might just be a crapshoot, that there might not be anything horribly wrong with me.  The other part of me wanted her to find a small, manageable problem with an easy solution.    

Her recommendation for the next step is IVF.  We're fortunate that our insurance will now cover IVF since I've had so many failed IUIs.  So it looks like we're hopping on the IVF train.  I'm happy that we're moving forward, and that our odds will be much better.  Still there's a small part of me that is absolutely terrified that we won't have any luck with IVF either. We're pulling out the big guns, and we can't step it up if this doesn't work.  It's scary to be out of options.  I'm sure that some of this anxiety is just jitters that will subside once I get over the shock of moving to IVF.  Right now it doesn't quite seem real.  

8 comments:

Keely said...

Congratulations on your momentous decision! It sounds like you have a great RE. Those eggs are really tiny targets, especially with frozen spermies... pulling out the big guns does seem to have a good success rate and there's nothing in what your RE said that makes it seem like you have to worry. Here's hoping :)

Strawberry said...

I'm sorry it hasn't worked yet. I can imagine how frustrating that must be. I wish you much luck with IVF.

justine said...

so glad that you liked the doctor and that she seemed to be so positive. that can only feel good. and i am sure that she's right. we all know how much of a crapshoot these attempts are. it's just dumb luck, i suppose.

anyways, we are eager to hear more aboout your ivf plans...and what it all means. we are thinking good thoughts and think that this will surely be the one.

Lisa said...

My RE said the same thing about the chances of getting pregnant each month. That's so sweet that your insurance will pay for IVF. I wish everyone's did. Your baby is coming soon.

journeytowardsourbaby said...

Yeah that's pretty much our doc's take on things too. Doesn't really help and is both comforting/frustrating depending on our mood at the time!

Good luck with the IVF, I know exactly what you mean about that fear but the odds really are so much better.. hopefully it won't be too much longer now :)

alimis said...

I am glad to hear that you have such a receptive RE. I will be looking forward to hearing about your IVF adventures. I will keep my fingers crossed for you as you go through the procedure.

thebao said...

ugh, boo on #10. i am very excited for you about ivf's possibilities, especially since your doc is so positive. very very exciting!

poppycat said...

If the next two IUI's don't work for me we are going IVF too! Looks like several of us will be boarding that train right around the same time. I have been afraid in the past of IVF not working for me too but I'm feeling pretty confident about it now and I feel that way for you too! Onward and upward!