Sunday, July 12, 2009

Growing apart

Last night, Elizabeth and I went out for ice cream with our friends Amanda and Leigh (not a couple...Amanda is VERY much into the guys).  On the way home, Amanda went on a ten minute tirade about how she hates the way that friends from high school fill their face book pages with pictures and videos of their children.  Amanda and Leigh agreed that there's nothing more boring than watching a video of someone's kid almost taking their first step, or seeing pictures of a baby falling asleep in her high chair.  

That's the thing about being secretive about your TTC process.  You'll get a very good idea of how people really feel about children / parenting etc.  I suppose it's helpful to know in advance which friends will be truly supportive, and which friends will be rolling their eyes behind your back. We would be the first in this particular circle of friends to have children, so it's hard to predict how everyone will react if I do get pregnant.  Unfortunately, I'm not predicting a lot of support from some of them.  But on the other hand, we've been growing apart from some of these people for quite a while now, so it won't be a huge loss.

In TTC news, still no sign of AF, so there's a pretty good chance that my being away this weekend won't interfere with me trying again this cycle.  


Lisa said...

Just to throw out another way of looking at it...these friends may also feel a slight tinge of jealousy for what their friends have and where they are in their lives. I totally have FB Envy. It seems like all of my friends from college/high school are married with children and here I am incredibly envious of the fact that they get to post pics, videos and hear about their weekend adventures as a family. It's not that I don't support them, it's just that it's very hard to see and hear about it. Glad to hear that you will get to ttc soon. My fingers are crossed for you.

AdventuresInBabyMaking said...

Wow, it definitely sounds like they’re in a diff’t place than you guys are. It’s still a little surprising, though. My bff was the first close friend of mine to get pregnant six years ago (she was about 25-26, her husband a couple of years older), and I remember being nothing but stoked for them. But I guess everyone looks at things differently. I know how you feel about being secretive about ttc. Sometimes it’s a bummer, sometimes I’m so glad. Sorry you’re not feeling like you’ll get support from friends, but at least you’ll get it elsewhere. And go glad you’re able to try this cycle!

projectkjetil said...

We've definitely experienced the grow-apart since Kiddo entered our lives. Some of our friends, while excited to party at the shower(s) with us, weren't super jazzed about babysitting or having to pick restaurants that accomodate kids, and we've just seen less of them as the years have gone by. We still love them, but it's all changed.

You're smart to recognize ahead of time that things will change. Here's hoping they change SOON for you... you'll be amazed how your kids make friends for you. It's lovely.

thebao said...

So glad to hear that you're going to get to move forward this cycle. Hooray! And I agree with what others have said--friendships are based on common experience, and when people go on different paths, it can be hard to maintain them. But I'll bet those friends will be super psyched for you when they hear your news--it's one thing to hear about random high school acquaintances' children and quite another to hear about current, REAL friends' children.

Justine said...

i have a couple friends who don't know that we are ttc because i am totally sure of what they think of it all and of kids, breastfeeding, cloth diapers, etc. and so, while we don't get into specifics with most friends anyways, these folks for sure i don't speak to about it. additionally, it's definitely going to be hard to integrate a kid into friendships with them and i just don't feel torn about who to choose.

sorry you are getting this, too. it doesn't feel good.