Number 10, done and done

Insemination #10 is done.  I triggered last Wednesday, and did the insems on Thursday and Friday morning.  The counts were 16 million and 14 million for the new donor.  I've been feeling a whole range of emotions this time around.  Part of me is excited-  I always feel a renewed sense of optimism when I change things up.  It helps that the new donor has slightly higher counts than our old one.  Another part of me feels defeated already.  It's been nearly a week since the first insemination of this cycle, and I still don't feel anything.  I don't feel any different than I did after any of the other 9 inseminations.  

I think part of my concern is that I'm really not sure when I ovulated after the trigger shot.  I've never been one to feel a distinct little twinge at ovulation, and my clinic doesn't do an ultrasound in between inseminations.  My ovaries felt a bit sore later in the day on Friday and all of  Saturday, so I'm worried that I ovulated too late after my insemination. It wasn't a sharp pain or a twinge or anything like that, it almost felt like a really full bladder except that it was my ovaries.  The nurse at the clinic said that the soreness could be from my ovaries shrinking back.  I'm not so sure.  So for anyone out there who has done injectables, did you have a distinct feeling of ovulation?  Anyone else feel sore for more than a day?

SF seeks Mr.Right

The S of course, stands for shallow. Searching for a new donor has definetely brought out my superficial side. When Elizabeth and I were trying to use a known donor, or a donor that has identity release at 3 months, it was all about personality. Anyone who seemed like a nice guy was a potential donor in our minds. Appearance didn't matter all that much, we just wanted someone who would be good for our child. 

But now that we're using a traditional sperm bank and our child will have to wait until s/he is 18 to meet the donor, we've given up on the Mr. Nice Guy. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but this time it's all about appearance. Anyone under 5' 11" is automatically out. (I'm only 5' 2" and I want to give my kid some chance of being tall).  We're using Cal.ifornia Cry.obank, which lets you view staff impressions of the donors for free. If the staff member writing her impressions of the donor goes on and on about his sense of humor and politeness, I assume it's because she has nothing noteworthy to say about his appearence, so that donor falls to the bottom of my pile.  

Sometime this week, the CCB website began listing "celebrity look-a-likes" for each donor. Each donor has about 3 celebrities that they supposedly resemble listed on their profile. One of our donors who had looked good up until that point received the ax because the celebrity he resembles is Tom Hanks. Yikes. (On a side note, the celebrity look-a-like feature did provide some entertainment last night. The website also lets you select from dozens of celebrities, and will provide a list of donors that look like your chosen celebrity. Is there REALLY anyone out there who wants a donor that looks like Chuck Norris? ). Anyway, I discovered this new feature just one day AFTER I had shipped two vials of our new donor to the clinic. Fortunately, our donor supposedly resembles some good looking celebrities.  

At the scan this morning, I had a few good follicles, and my estradiol was at 876. So I trigger tonight, and have a date with my vials of Mr.Handsome at 6am Thursday morning.

¡Mierda!

Thanks to everyone who weighed in on the vacation question.  After reading your responses, I realized that it would be stupid of me to pass this up.  When Elizabeth called Angela to confirm plans, we found out that the condo owner will actually NOT be away that week.  That means there is only one extra bedroom in the condo, so there won't be room for us after all.  Angela feels terrible about the misunderstanding, and Elizabeth and I are pretty bummed out too.  The one good thing that did come of this is that we realized we really need a vacation.  To where, we're not quite sure yet.

Should I stay or should I go?

Our friend Angela just told us that she has access to a condo in Mexico mid-August.  Her friend owns the condo, and will let her use it for free.  Angela had a really rough year, from battling breast cancer to dealing with a crazy ex-husband.  She has invited me and Elizabeth and a few other friends to join her at the condo so we can all relax and de-stress.

Elizabeth and I have been struggling all week trying to decide if we should go.  We've been talking in circles.  The more we talk, the more confused we get.  We tried to make a pro / con list, but it got too complicated when we decided that we really needed to weight each pro and con.  Of course, it could be a fun time,  but there are multiple reasons why we shouldn't go.  If the July insemination does work, I would be newly pregnant on vacation.  I have no idea how I'd be feeling at that point.  It might be miserable.  If the July insemination doesn't work, I'd have to skip the August cycle because the vacation would possibly happen when we'd be monitoring or inseminating.  And then there's the fact that we're really broke.  Even with free lodging, the vacation will cost more than an insemination.  So this is where I am seeking your advice.  Is it too good an opportunity to pass up, or should we focus on the baby making?

Should I stay or should I go?(answers)

Growing apart

Last night, Elizabeth and I went out for ice cream with our friends Amanda and Leigh (not a couple...Amanda is VERY much into the guys).  On the way home, Amanda went on a ten minute tirade about how she hates the way that friends from high school fill their face book pages with pictures and videos of their children.  Amanda and Leigh agreed that there's nothing more boring than watching a video of someone's kid almost taking their first step, or seeing pictures of a baby falling asleep in her high chair.  

That's the thing about being secretive about your TTC process.  You'll get a very good idea of how people really feel about children / parenting etc.  I suppose it's helpful to know in advance which friends will be truly supportive, and which friends will be rolling their eyes behind your back. We would be the first in this particular circle of friends to have children, so it's hard to predict how everyone will react if I do get pregnant.  Unfortunately, I'm not predicting a lot of support from some of them.  But on the other hand, we've been growing apart from some of these people for quite a while now, so it won't be a huge loss.

In TTC news, still no sign of AF, so there's a pretty good chance that my being away this weekend won't interfere with me trying again this cycle.  

It pays to fail!

I have finally hit the magic number- 6. My insurance company requires 6 out of pocket IUIs before you're deemed worthy of fertility coverage. Elizabeth and I spent the last cycle getting all of the paperwork in order and recovering our expenses a little bit. I'm frustrated that we've had 6 IUIs and no pregnancy, but thrilled that our G.onal F is only going to cost a $10 co-pay. After skipping a cycle, I'm very anxious to get started again.

Unfortunately, we might have to skip this one too. My mother has a catering business, and I've agreed to help her with a party on the 17th and 18th. It's good money, and we could really use the cash right now to chip away at some of the debt from my failures. This means that I'll be out of state two weekends from now. Since I'm doing a G.onal F cycle, I'm supposed to be at the clinic almost every other morning for u/s & b/w. My past 2 cycles with injectables have has me doing IUIs on the early side, usually day 11 & 12. Elizabeth and I played around with the calendar last night. It looks like if AF arrives today, I should probably be okay and will be able to get the insems done before we leave the state. If AF comes this Saturday, we'll probably be okay too... just as long as our doctor feels okay about me going 2 days in a row with no monitoring. If AF shows up on Wednesday or Thursday however, we're pretty much screwed.

So all I can do is keep my fingers crossed and wait. I really hope I don't have to sit out another cycle, as this is my last chance to get myself knocked up before I turn 30!